Heaviness
This and the next (and last) topic touched heavily on depression and I expected to become quite overcome with emotion and tears like I had with the other topics but, to my surprise, that didn’t happen.
Heaviness attempts to isolate. It shows up as hopelessness, despair and a loss of heart and vision and results in a degradation of our relationships, self-absorption and the avoidance of counsel and wisdom.
Isaiah 61:3 says that for “those who grieve in Zion, [God will give them] … a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (The song calls it a spirit of heaviness.) The word is used also in Isaiah 42:3, which Matthew quotes, saying that it describes Jesus: “A bruised reed he will not break and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory.” (Matthew 12:20, NIV) The word “smoldering” is the same word. Jesus doesn’t break those who are heavy with despair. He comforts those who mourn! We can’t pull ourselves out of this heaviness and despair, but God can.
The problem with Heaviness is that we become self-focused and self-centered. (Have I been like that?) We push others away (and I’ve done my share of that). But, as I quoted above, Jesus wants to make an exchange—a garment of praise for the spirit of Heaviness. A garment of praise is a gift from God, the speaker told us, and we need to exercise it, so we pulled off the garment of heaviness, as if we were removing a t-shirt, and put on the garment of praise. And then we spent time singing praises to God. The cool thing about praising God is that when we worship Him, darkness can’t stay.
When I went for prayer, the fellow praying for me wanted to know what was behind my depression. Sigh. I hated to admit it because he and I had been chatting in the line waiting for lunch and I felt I had made a friend. Now I had to reveal stuff that I wanted to hide—my difficult marriage and my struggle with homosexuality. Nothing profound happened, which has me wondering if the depression was broken during the earlier sessions and now it’s just a matter of continuing in what God has given me. I guess time will tell.
Heaviness attempts to isolate. It shows up as hopelessness, despair and a loss of heart and vision and results in a degradation of our relationships, self-absorption and the avoidance of counsel and wisdom.
Isaiah 61:3 says that for “those who grieve in Zion, [God will give them] … a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (The song calls it a spirit of heaviness.) The word is used also in Isaiah 42:3, which Matthew quotes, saying that it describes Jesus: “A bruised reed he will not break and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory.” (Matthew 12:20, NIV) The word “smoldering” is the same word. Jesus doesn’t break those who are heavy with despair. He comforts those who mourn! We can’t pull ourselves out of this heaviness and despair, but God can.
The problem with Heaviness is that we become self-focused and self-centered. (Have I been like that?) We push others away (and I’ve done my share of that). But, as I quoted above, Jesus wants to make an exchange—a garment of praise for the spirit of Heaviness. A garment of praise is a gift from God, the speaker told us, and we need to exercise it, so we pulled off the garment of heaviness, as if we were removing a t-shirt, and put on the garment of praise. And then we spent time singing praises to God. The cool thing about praising God is that when we worship Him, darkness can’t stay.
When I went for prayer, the fellow praying for me wanted to know what was behind my depression. Sigh. I hated to admit it because he and I had been chatting in the line waiting for lunch and I felt I had made a friend. Now I had to reveal stuff that I wanted to hide—my difficult marriage and my struggle with homosexuality. Nothing profound happened, which has me wondering if the depression was broken during the earlier sessions and now it’s just a matter of continuing in what God has given me. I guess time will tell.
posted by Magdaleine at 5:00 PM
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