An Introduction to Week One of Camp

The speakers for the first week of camp were an apostolic team from Ontario, Canada—Glen, Danielle and Darlene. I had sat under Darlene's teaching when I had come to camp in May and was looking forward to more. Glen and Darlene are both pastors in different towns and Danielle has a high position with Women’s Aglow, travelling the country on behalf of that organization. They were all awesome speakers and awesome people. The amazing thing was that their topic for the week was exactly the sorts of topics that I’ve been exposed to the past several years with Neil Anderson’s Steps to Freedom in Christ, Cleansing Stream and Living Waters. As they began to speak the first night, my mind was blown away. I knew God wanted me there. I’m going to start by sharing what I wrote in my journal (all text in italics is from my journal).

…we were encouraged to pray, “Show me what hinders my advance.” We have issues, we ALL have issues and until we get to the root of those issues, we will continue to have buttons that get pushed and hooks that keep pulling us.

God, I want to get all the garbage away so the rats will stop being attracted to me. I want to be so whole that no matter what anyone does to me, I will respond as Jesus did on earth—-allowing You to rule me instead of being ruled by my emotions. Oh God, please make this possible. Glen prayed over me tonight. He asked that you would cocoon me, God, so I can receive and so I can burst out a butterfly.

Lord, Glen says you’re preparing each of us for something new. Please help me to abandon myself to you this week, even amidst the busyness of cooking, the pain of being on my feet all day every day and the discomfort and sluggishness of being sick. God, I commit myself to you. If there are any parts of me that aren’t committed, please change them. If there’s something I need to do to make that change, please make it clear to me so I will.

Glen says you want to tune us so we can make harmonies together. Please show me how to make harmony with my husband. Please? Bring healing to both our souls. Transform us, so we can be relational with each other and be empowered by our relationship to serve you more completely. Each of us are easily offended by the other, God. Please change that. Show me what bitter root judgments I have and please show me how to uproot them. I want to change. I don’t want to be pulled by things from the past. Show me where I still have unforgiveness, God, and help me to forgive. Free me from these chains that keep me bitter, especially towards my husband but also to others. Show me where these roots of bitterness are and against whom they’re aimed. Help me to accept him even though he’s different.

God, I still believe a lot of lies about me, about my husband and about others. Please reveal these lies to me—as much as I can handle this week and then continuing past, when I’m home. Show me the lies and help me to be willing to believe the truth, no matter how unbelievable it sounds. Please give me a clear mind on this, Lord!

I don’t want destroy your work in and through me, God, but I know that my dysfunction does that. Please redeem my dysfunction so I can help others and serve and reflect you completely. Lead me. Guide me. Direct me. Let me not deny the truth you show me and let me not run from it. Let me face it honestly, no matter how it hurts, and heal me.

What do you want to do in my life, God? What area do you want to heal emotionally? What relationships do you want to restore? Please replace the things the enemy has stolen, Lord. Please return romance to our marriage. Unravel me so I can be made whole. Take me where you want.

Thank you for loving me, Father. Thank you for loving me, Jesus. Thank you for coming to me tonight and nuzzling my neck again. You gave me so much joy and I felt loved. You ARE the lover of my soul. Thank you so very, very much.