A 15-year-old's Dream

Written just before my 16th birthday:

I’ve been talking to [a former missionary to China] about my career but I still haven’t decided absolutely sure except that I wish to serve humanity and spread to others the peace I know in Christ.

I got married two years later and instead of fulfilling this dream, I turned from God. After I returned to Him 5-6 years after leaving Him, I was caught up in living my life as a mom and wife in a difficult marriage. It's only been in the last couple of years that I see this desire starting to be met and that only slowly. Did it take me this long (I'm 50 years old) to prepare?

And yet I'm reminded of a story that was forwarded to me a long time ago. A man asked God what he could do for Him so God pointed him to a boulder and told him to push it. The man pushed it almost all day every day but after a few years he came back to God and complained that he hadn't been able to move it at all.

"I didn't ask you to move it," said God, "only push it. But this hasn't been wasted time. Look at yourself!"

And when the man did, he saw that he had developed a fine set of muscles.

Perhaps the last 34 years have been my time of boulder pushing.

Lord, please enable me to serve you in whatever way You desire.