Women's Ministries
I’ve been sick with a respiratory flu. Saturday I was really sick when one of my pastors called me, last minute, and asked if I would give a 3-minute blurb about women's ministries as part of the one-year anniversary of the most current version of our church (the leadership, most of the congregation, the venue and the format all changed a year ago). My mind was too sick and foggy to think of anything to say but I thought I could come up with something Sunday before church. Nope. I hadn't slept well and I felt worse than ever. In fact, I took an entire box of tissue with me to church AND my 1.5 litre thermal teapot, just to help me make it through the morning. I was so miserable! (I drank the whole potful before the end of the service too!)
But as worship began, and I was too sick to stand up and join in, I noticed one of the other leaders doing last minute preparation for HER 3-minute talk, and finding a Bible verse; so I thought I could find a Bible verse too. Well, one thing led to another and I wound up spending worship time scrawling out some thoughts to share. Here's an edited version of what I wrote/shared:
One of my favourite passages in the Bible is 2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." NIV
We don't know what Paul's thorn was--a physical ailment? A persistent temptation? Something else? We don't know. What we do know is that Jesus' grace is sufficient, for His power is made perfect in weakness. Did you hear that? His power is made perfect in WEAKNESS. When we are weak, then we are strong, because we're in a place where we can be used by God.
This past year has been one of great turmoil and difficulty for me. I was delighted that the my beloved house church wasn't going to fold but I wasn't sure about all these Pentecostals who were taking over. There was one thing our now senior pastor had said at one of the discussion meetings, before we restructured, and that was that his passion was to reach out to a particular neighbourhood in our city. Really? That's where much of the homosexual community hangs out! My passion for several years has been to help those who, like me, struggle with same-sex attraction, but who want to be free to bring honour and glory to God. I was sold, even though I got frustrated so many times (and still do) about how things had changed in my church. And through the year, as I attempted to link with ministries specifically geared to reaching the homosexual, I kept being shut out. I wasn't good enough. I was too weak. And I got weaker, sinking into deeper and deeper depression.
It was at the depth of this depression that one of the pastors asked me if I would lead Women's Ministries.
"Do you realize I'm in the midst of depression?"
"Yes."
"Do you realize I have a lousy marriage?"
"Yes."
"Do you realize I still struggle with same-sex attraction?"
"Yes! But we still want you to lead women's ministries."
And so, here I am, new at the job but excited about the possibilities: continuing the monthly study of Captivating [by John and Stasi Eldredge]; organizing secret sisters as a way to help the women of the church to connect; and weekly meeting at the Frog [name has been changed]. The Frog is an English-style pub where women of our targeted neighbourhood, who have never stepped into a church and who are very suspicious of Christians, might feel comfortable to come and meet and hang out and ask questions.
The pastor’s talk [that morning] has focused on fragrance. Magdaleine is the handle I use online. She was the woman who broke a box of alabaster to pour out an expensive perfume on Jesus' feet. Like that alabaster box, I want to be broken so that my life can be poured out extravagantly for Jesus so that his fragrance can rise from my brokenness and weakness. [The end]
I was really nervous because I'm accustomed to spending time before a public speech, especially one like that, going over it again and again, but I didn't have that chance. I was also nervous because many of the church people were hearing for the first time about my ssa and difficult marriage. How would they, especially the women, treat me afterwards? Many of the women love to hug me. Would they still want to? Yes! I was pleasantly surprised! And several thanked me for what I had said. It was a good morning despite being sick and I’m looking forward to what God is going to do next: in and through me, in and through our women’s ministries, and in and through our church.
But as worship began, and I was too sick to stand up and join in, I noticed one of the other leaders doing last minute preparation for HER 3-minute talk, and finding a Bible verse; so I thought I could find a Bible verse too. Well, one thing led to another and I wound up spending worship time scrawling out some thoughts to share. Here's an edited version of what I wrote/shared:
One of my favourite passages in the Bible is 2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." NIV
We don't know what Paul's thorn was--a physical ailment? A persistent temptation? Something else? We don't know. What we do know is that Jesus' grace is sufficient, for His power is made perfect in weakness. Did you hear that? His power is made perfect in WEAKNESS. When we are weak, then we are strong, because we're in a place where we can be used by God.
This past year has been one of great turmoil and difficulty for me. I was delighted that the my beloved house church wasn't going to fold but I wasn't sure about all these Pentecostals who were taking over. There was one thing our now senior pastor had said at one of the discussion meetings, before we restructured, and that was that his passion was to reach out to a particular neighbourhood in our city. Really? That's where much of the homosexual community hangs out! My passion for several years has been to help those who, like me, struggle with same-sex attraction, but who want to be free to bring honour and glory to God. I was sold, even though I got frustrated so many times (and still do) about how things had changed in my church. And through the year, as I attempted to link with ministries specifically geared to reaching the homosexual, I kept being shut out. I wasn't good enough. I was too weak. And I got weaker, sinking into deeper and deeper depression.
It was at the depth of this depression that one of the pastors asked me if I would lead Women's Ministries.
"Do you realize I'm in the midst of depression?"
"Yes."
"Do you realize I have a lousy marriage?"
"Yes."
"Do you realize I still struggle with same-sex attraction?"
"Yes! But we still want you to lead women's ministries."
And so, here I am, new at the job but excited about the possibilities: continuing the monthly study of Captivating [by John and Stasi Eldredge]; organizing secret sisters as a way to help the women of the church to connect; and weekly meeting at the Frog [name has been changed]. The Frog is an English-style pub where women of our targeted neighbourhood, who have never stepped into a church and who are very suspicious of Christians, might feel comfortable to come and meet and hang out and ask questions.
The pastor’s talk [that morning] has focused on fragrance. Magdaleine is the handle I use online. She was the woman who broke a box of alabaster to pour out an expensive perfume on Jesus' feet. Like that alabaster box, I want to be broken so that my life can be poured out extravagantly for Jesus so that his fragrance can rise from my brokenness and weakness. [The end]
I was really nervous because I'm accustomed to spending time before a public speech, especially one like that, going over it again and again, but I didn't have that chance. I was also nervous because many of the church people were hearing for the first time about my ssa and difficult marriage. How would they, especially the women, treat me afterwards? Many of the women love to hug me. Would they still want to? Yes! I was pleasantly surprised! And several thanked me for what I had said. It was a good morning despite being sick and I’m looking forward to what God is going to do next: in and through me, in and through our women’s ministries, and in and through our church.
posted by Magdaleine at 8:37 PM
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