Doctors, Doctors and More Doctors!
This past week has been very difficult. On Monday I had to have a tooth filled. I don't like dentists and was really shaken, crying in the chair and such. I came home only to get a phone call reminding me (I had completely forgotten and hadn't marked it on my calendar) that I had a gastroscopy (camera down the throat to look at the esophagus and stomach) on Friday. I already knew that I had another tooth to be filled on Thursday. I was really numb at this prospect. Then my husband, who hadn't taken the time to find out how my day was, asked me to come sit with him and the fellow working on our bathroom as they sat drinking coffee and chatting. I didn't want to but I wanted to please him so I sat there, not really enjoying myself, for about an hour. Finally I said that I wanted to go back to the kitchen (where the computer is) but could we discuss a few things about the bathroom first. I was actually feeling goofy and was joking around, but after the workman left, my husband came to me very angry because 1) I had wanted to leave their company to return to the computer and 2) he hadn't liked my joking around and felt ... well, I'm not sure. Can't remember the word he used. I was furious. For the first time in a long time I had actually felt safe enough to joke with him and he totally misunderstood my intent. I certainly hadn't meant to hurt him or diminish him. I was still shaking from everything else before and was so angry with his attitude that I yelled back at him. The next morning, still hurt and angry at his behaviour, I yelled a whole lot more and was miserable all day at work as my world spiralled down. I had sent him an apology e-card but though I learned later that he had replied, very nicely, I didn't see that reply till the next day. I was in such a bad state that I broke down in tears at work.
That was Tuesday. Thursday, when I went for my second filling, the dentist had to fill up his needle three times before I had enough freezing. He told me that if this third time didn't work, I'd have to go home without the filling and come back again another day. That I did NOT want and so I started praying furiously. Thankfully my mouth was frozen enough and I got the filling done but my ear was frozen, my chin was frozen, my tongue was frozen and so was everything else in between. It was still frozen when I went to bed.
I was really scared about the gastroscopy. Last time I had a "scopy", it was a laparoscopy and instead of being sent home and able to work the next day like the woman ahead of me, I had been admitted to the hospital and then had a recovery time of six weeks. I did NOT want that happening again, especially since I have a regular job for the time being.
I left work at noon and drove home where dh was waiting to take me to the hospital. I was very impressed that he had taken a "family emergency day" to be with me but then he spent the time being really miserable to me and again I was in tears. I was so discouraged. I told him I wish I had let one of our boys take me instead. He eventually got nicer. And the gastroscopy turned out to be not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. The nurses were nice and it wasn't long after the procedure that I was able to sit up and eat something (my reward for being able to gag right away was a glass of water, followed shortly afterwards by pudding.
Within half an hour or 45 minutes, I was declared able to go home. Amazing! But I could only eat soft food, so I had my husband stop at a store and pick up canned pasta, canned stew and a bucket of ice cream. I basically ate ice cream for the rest of the day and most of Saturday too. I didn't feel like eating much else. Besides, they had taken a biopsy and I didn't want to rip apart the wound inside of me with what I ate.
I've been rather groggy most of the weekend, and the sedating drugs they gave me gave me weird but very vivid dreams. I also couldn't drive for 24 hours or make any major decisions. That was okay. I just lounged about and rested.
So, I hope I've rested enough, because I'm intending to go to work tomorrow. I didn't get any of the symptoms they told me to watch for, so I guess I'm okay. Now I just have to wait for the results.
Today was my next-door neighour's 81st birthday. I bought her a card and we all signed it. But my husband decided to do something different. He prepared her a salmon meal and delivered it to her door dressed in his tuxedo. She was thrilled!
And now I'm tired. Good night everyone!
That was Tuesday. Thursday, when I went for my second filling, the dentist had to fill up his needle three times before I had enough freezing. He told me that if this third time didn't work, I'd have to go home without the filling and come back again another day. That I did NOT want and so I started praying furiously. Thankfully my mouth was frozen enough and I got the filling done but my ear was frozen, my chin was frozen, my tongue was frozen and so was everything else in between. It was still frozen when I went to bed.
I was really scared about the gastroscopy. Last time I had a "scopy", it was a laparoscopy and instead of being sent home and able to work the next day like the woman ahead of me, I had been admitted to the hospital and then had a recovery time of six weeks. I did NOT want that happening again, especially since I have a regular job for the time being.
I left work at noon and drove home where dh was waiting to take me to the hospital. I was very impressed that he had taken a "family emergency day" to be with me but then he spent the time being really miserable to me and again I was in tears. I was so discouraged. I told him I wish I had let one of our boys take me instead. He eventually got nicer. And the gastroscopy turned out to be not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. The nurses were nice and it wasn't long after the procedure that I was able to sit up and eat something (my reward for being able to gag right away was a glass of water, followed shortly afterwards by pudding.
Within half an hour or 45 minutes, I was declared able to go home. Amazing! But I could only eat soft food, so I had my husband stop at a store and pick up canned pasta, canned stew and a bucket of ice cream. I basically ate ice cream for the rest of the day and most of Saturday too. I didn't feel like eating much else. Besides, they had taken a biopsy and I didn't want to rip apart the wound inside of me with what I ate.
I've been rather groggy most of the weekend, and the sedating drugs they gave me gave me weird but very vivid dreams. I also couldn't drive for 24 hours or make any major decisions. That was okay. I just lounged about and rested.
So, I hope I've rested enough, because I'm intending to go to work tomorrow. I didn't get any of the symptoms they told me to watch for, so I guess I'm okay. Now I just have to wait for the results.
Today was my next-door neighour's 81st birthday. I bought her a card and we all signed it. But my husband decided to do something different. He prepared her a salmon meal and delivered it to her door dressed in his tuxedo. She was thrilled!
And now I'm tired. Good night everyone!
posted by Magdaleine at 8:55 PM
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