Grid blog :: Pentecost--Dryness, Waiting and Life

I've been looking forward to the Pentecost gridblogging event ever since I heard about it. I was sure God would give me something profound to write come Sunday, especially if I managed to find a church to visit that celebrated Pentecost. I would have gone to my friend's church, her Sunday morning service sounded exciting but, alas, it's a thousand miles away. My own beloved little house church has been put on hold pending a decision by the pastor as to whether or not to permanently close the doors and so I couldn't go there. I didn't go to any church this morning, though I had one or two in mind. I woke up very sick, with headache, runny nose, sore throat and more. In fact, I've spent the entire day in bed and feel no better.

I thought yesterday might provide some fodder for a post on Pentecost. I was at Focus on the Family's "Love Won Out" conference on homosexuality. Perhaps God would give me some insightful connection between the two topics. It didn't happen. It was a profound event, no doubt about it. It left me reeling emotionally but unfortunately, instead of facing the emotions and asking God to sort through them all for me, I medicated the pain with food to the degree that I am unable to touch where I was and see what God might have to say to me.

And so I'm feeling dry with nothing much to say. As I've lain in bed, drifting in and out of sleep throughout the day, I've thought about this dryness. I imagine that this is what Jesus' disciples were feeling before Pentecost morning. Yes, they'd had wonderful teaching from Jesus himself. They'd even had some incredible spiritual experiences, none better than seeing Jesus alive after his crucifixion and then watching Him ascend into heaven. The teaching and the experiences weren't enough, however. They'd been told to go into all the world and preach the gospel yet they huddled in an upper room because they needed more.

What more could they need besides good teaching, time with the Master and awesome experiences? Surely such a formula wouldn't lead to dryness! What was lacking? Perhaps even they didn't know what yet they needed until their morning was ripped apart by the sound of rushing wind and the falling of what seemed to be tongues of fire. Did they rush out of the building in fear? Certainly they were outdoors by the time they started speaking in other languages because those who rushed to the scene, wondering what the windstorm noise was all about, heard them speak and understood them. What changed Peter and the others from timidity to boldness? What changed them from dryness to founts of Living Water? What more did they need than what they already had? The Holy Spirit.

Do we try to do God's work without His presence in our lives? Do we "preach the gospel" out of our dryness? Do we assume that good teaching, time with the Master and awesome spiritual experiences are all we need to bring others into the kingdom? Sadly, this is too often the case. We are unwilling to sit and wait for God to pour his Spirit on us. We hear the command Jesus gave his disciples, "Go and preach!" and choose to act immediately. His disciples were wiser. They sat in an upper room and waited. When God's Spirit DID come, there was no mistaking his arrival.

How willing am I to sit in my dryness and wait? I don't want to be moving on my own strength--I haven't much at all. I want to be propelled by the Holy Spirit of God. Come, Holy Spirit! Come! Fill me with life anew!